SCAB Report

Championship

Galactic Soup Bowl

Mess slips Sled Dogs in last minute thriller

Puke and the Heroes of Polar Exploration Memorial certainly made great setup for their first championship meeting: the return of two former powers who'd spent more than a decade out of contention, and even fell to the bottom of their conferences; top recruiting classes that brought them back to power quickly, and this year the top QB recruit, Puke's Vince Spleen, and top RB recruit, HPEMC's Chase Bone; the Sled Dogs rode their recruting to the championship game two years ago, where they lost to developing power Moonshine State, and were now back to face the new version of themselves; even a regular-season meeting didn't spoil the suspense of this rematch, as Puke's 20-17 win was close enough, and their paths after left the two clear of the league, de facto and de jure. And then they produced a game that lived up to the setup, was the most dramatic championship game since at least 2015, and with one of the most exciting and unique finishes, perhaps ever.

It looked like a game of two halves, similar to the 1984 championship, but even more interesting, it was a game of 4 quarters. HPEMC came out blazing in the first, scored 2 TDs and looked in complete control. It was an even 2nd quarter, each team scoring a TD, but Puke had a drive to the HPEMC 5-yard line killed by the clock. That still made the first half look dominated by the Sled Dogs, and like the game might be anticlimactic in their favor. But then Puke dominated the 3rd, scoring TDs on three straight possessions to take the lead. In the 4th, it was 6-7, two FGs to a TD, but they happened in that order so that the former seemed to put HPEMC back in control of the game. And then came the TD, an electrifying single play, to pull victory back for Puke.

The Sled Dogs scored in 4 passes on the opening drive. QB Baron Fang threw for 12 yards to WR Elwood Friezover, then for 13 to him again, then for 30 to RB Yukon Vokov, then for 25 to him again for the TD. The Mess was stunned, and indeed HPEMC's passing game had dramatically improved since their season meeting. The teams traded punts, but then Puke punted again, and Spleen was clearly having trouble finding targets against the Sled Dog defense. Fang led another 80-yard drive, though 49 of it came on one play, a pass to Friezover. Fang ran it in himself from the 5. HPEMC in command, 14-0.

Puke got a break in the 2nd quarter when Sled Dog RB Yukon Volkov fumbled. The Mess recovered and were set up at the HPEMC 11. Spleen made quick work, finding TE Danko Hole for the TD on the next play. Puke was right back in it. Or not. The Sled Dogs zipped right back, helped by a personal foul by Puke on a 3rd down. Fang passed to WR Lou Siskool for a 6-yard TD, and immediately erased the Puke scoring turn. The Mess got their offense rolling, with Spleen finding Hole and WR Luther Lunch on 3 straight passes and RB Yuri Pulsiv busting for 17 yards to the Sled Dog 5. But the half ended there, leaving to show only the Sled Dogs in charge.

Perhaps that last drive did show something, though, as Puke went on a long drive to start the 3rd quarter. This time a Sled Dog personal foul on a 4th down kept the drive alive. But the Mess only got across midfield, to the HPEMC 49, where then their punt was blocked and recovered at their own 38. The Sled Dogs, after getting 5 yards on a Bone run, tried 3 straight passes, including on 4th down, all incomplete. Puke took over again, converted a 4th and one from their own 41 with a 6-yard pass from Spleen to Hole, then two plays later came the lightning strike: a 53-yard pass to Lunch. Puke was back in it.

HPEMC then made a risky decision. With a 4th and 1 at their own 31, they tried a fake punt, the punter attempting a pass that missed. Puke took over and after 2 misses of his own, Spleen then hit Lunch again for the distance, a 31-yard TD pass. Just as dramatically, K Will Hathaway missed the extra point to leave the Sled Dogs in the lead 21-20. But the Mess then forced a three-and-out again, and zipped down the field, thanks mostly to a 28-yard scramble by Spleen. Spleen found Lunch again for the 11-yard TD pass, and the lead, 27-21. Again, another curious decision, Puke did not try for a 2-point play to make up for the previous miss.

But one thing was clear: three straight scoring possessions for Puke and they had taken control. All three TDs were to Lunch. Spleen had adjusted to the way HPEMC was taking out star WR Ellis Dee. In the 4th quarter, however, the Sled Dogs used their offense as much as their defense to stop the Puke attack and bring back the fight. They took 10 plays to drive to the Puke 13, where with a 4th and 4, they opted for the 31-yard FG attempt, which K Leary O'Toole made. HPMEC forced a Puke punt, but then turned it over on downs after another risky decision at their own 43. But on the next play, the Sled Dogs picked off Spleen, setting them up again at their own 41. It took 9 plays to get to the Puke 3. Bone carried 3 times in a row, for 18, 4 and 8 yards, to get them to the 12, then Fang hit TE Haki Puck for 9 yards to get to the 3.

With less than 15 seconds remaining in the game, HPEMC made the decision on 3rd down to go for the FG, a chip shot at 20 yards. O'Toole came on and put it away and the game was tied at 27. Puke's decision for the extra point kick after failing previously now had the bizarre significance of setting up this 2-FG result. The specter or 1983 rose over the game, what would seem to favor the Sled Dogs, who won that longest game in SCAB history over Our Lady when sudden death overtime took nearly as long as another half.

But this time even sudden death would be pre-empted. HPEMC executed a squib kick on the following kickoff, designed to make the ball skip along the ground, cause lots of effort to cover it, if not confusion, and prevent a full open return by a deep man. Dee was back deep for Puke, but the up man was Pulsiv, who was able to catch the ball on a bounce. After one defender flew past him, Pulsiv saw a lane up the middle, as his team mates had wedged the kicking team into a pocket. Puliv took off and went untouched 72 yards. Seconds after the tie of the game, Puke had the lead again. With time still left on the clock, Hathaway kicked the extra point, kicked off again, and the Sled Dogs ran one play from their 20. But they had no other miracle left.

Fang completed 16 of 32 passes for 249 yards and 2 TDs, and rushed for 33 yards and a TD. Friezover had 8 receptions for 124 yards, actually leading all receivers (Lunch by a yard), so the Sled Dogs certainly had their ace receiver going in the offense. Chase Bone rushed for 40 yards on 8 carries. Puke's Lunch had 6 catches for 123 yards and 3 TDs. Dee had 5 for 73, Hole 6 for 57 and a TD. Pulsiv rushed for 32 yards.

Puke won their 6th championship in as many appearances. They now pull back within one of both Northwestsoutheastern and Kootsville Tech, but they are 6-0 in championship games, the best net record by double. Whooperville A&M is 3-0. Heroes of Polar Exploration are now 1-3 in championship games.