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May 28, 2005
Playoffs
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Monroes Crash on CliffsMaryland stormed into Montgomery off their rousing win over Macon and throttled the Cliff offense for at least a half, leading 10-6 at the break. But that was as long as they could contain QB Boris Toutierse and his WRs Noah Mittens and Reed Moore. Toutierse hit Mittens for a 21-yard TD in the 3rd quarter to give Montgomery the lead for the first time, but it also turned out to be for good. He hit Mittens again for a 16-yard TD in the 4th to finish off the scoring and the Monroes. Montgomery RB Ira Pent rushed for 50 yards and a TD, while the Cliffs held Maryland RBs Hugh Jarse and Igor Beaver to 67 rushing yards between them. Montgomery will host the Eastern Conference Championship next week. |
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Strangled: Maniac Hopes Die AgainIn this hard luck battle between one stuck as a bridesmaid and one who never made it to the altar, it was Boston that snatched another week of life by thoroughly dashing Manhattan's hope for that elusive Hyperbowl trophy. Boston RB Tyrone Shoelaces has waited even longer than Eastern MVP Manhattan QB Lance Boils for just one Hyperbowl, and he finally had a big day in the playoffs, rushing for 122 yards and a TD against a notorious foe who is also the Eastern perennial of nearly a decade. But Shoelaces is perfectly happy to have a teammate like Luke St. Everything to upstage him. After another season of dominance by Boils and his star WR Ezra Doctrine-House, St. Everything proved the unstoppable offensive player this time, helping his QB Anson Pants to 356 yards passing. Despite the fact Boston did strangle Boils and the Manhattan offense, allowing only 153 yards passing, and only 33 of it to Doctrine-House, it took Boils one big play to nearly turn the tables: a 41-yard pass to TE Bud Head for a TD with less than a minute remaining. The extra point tied the game at 14. Boston nearly took the game right back 3 plays later, as St. Everything broke free on a 62-yard pass play. But he was run out of bounds on the 4-yard line and time had expired. The game went to overtime. It would be even sweeter for Shoelaces. After holding Manhattan on the opening drive of the extra period, Boston drove down the field, with 3 pass plays of 20 or more yards, and Shoelaces carried the ball into the end zone from 9 yards out for the sudden death win. Boston will play Montgomery in the Eastern final. |
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Sinners Own DevilsLas Vegas produced a quieter kind of domination for to open this playoff campaign. While they didn't bomb Los Angeles in quite the manner they did last year's opponents, there was never any question in the game as they stifled the Devil offense. While West MVP WR Jason Rainbows had a more modest game best, QB Andy Christ had only 151 yards passing. The Sinners were able to control the pace rushing, with Christ adding 43 yards to the 60 of RB Drew Blood and 56 of RB Buster Gutt. Meanwhile, they held Los Angeles RB Rowdy Neighbors to only 13 yards, the dynamic duo of WRs, Kenny Lingis and Ty Dass, to 80 yards between them. Vegas will host the Western Conference Championship. |
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Jacks Foil PotatoheadsMonterey knocked off Las Vegas to take charge of the Central Western Division, then blew the division title by losing to Wichita. Now they've rebounded by beating Wichita in the wildcard game and knocking off Northwestern Division champion Idaho and set up another date with Las Vegas. RB Buster Hymen missed a good chunk of the regular season with injury, but then was a key in the revenge win over Wichita. He was a factor again, here, with 79 yards and a TD. But it was WR Ira Fuse who baffled the Idaho defense. The Potatoheads, meanwhile, with an offense that finally broke them fromt the scramble in the Northern Division, could not get going against the Jacks. RB Malcolm Tent had only 4 yards rushing, and this year's new factor, WR Howie Wonder-Warr, had only 3 catches for 20 yards. |
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